Is Your Job Your Life?: Lessons from A Folk Singer & Al Pacino

U.S. Department of Justice
The New Yorker recently published a sad story by Jeffrey Toobin about the prosecution of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, and how the fallout from the case affected a young Justice Department lawyer named Nicholas Marsh, who committed suicide. (Casualties of Justice, Jan. 3, 2011).

The media is all over a story until suddenly the story disappears, and it was that way with the Sen. Stevens prosecution.  There was extensive coverage of the case against Ted Stevens, who was charged with failing to report gifts of reduced rates on renovations to a house. While the case was pending, Stevens lost reelection in 2008. Then the media coverage died down. But the Stevens case did not result in a conviction, and the Attorney General’s Office ultimately asked for all charges to be dropped against Stevens because prosecutors breached ethics by failing to disclose information indicating Stevens may not have been guilty. Stevens died in a plane crash in Alaska in 2010.

Nicholas Marsh was one of the prosecutors in the Alaska investigation that resulted in nine successful convictions revealing corruption in the state political system. Although Marsh participated in the Stevens case, Toobin wrote that apparently Marsh had nothing to do with the unethical actions by his fellow prosecutors. But because of Marsh’s involvement in the case, officials removed Marsh from his high-esteem position and moved him to a lower-prestige department. Meanwhile, the Office of Professional Responsibility continues to investigate the conduct of the Stevens prosecutors.

Even though Marsh may ultimately be cleared, the stress from the ongoing investigation took its toll on him. Depressed and unsuccessfully fighting his demons, in September 2010 he hanged himself in the basement of his suburban Washington, D.C. home. Married less than five years, he did not leave a note for his young wife.

It is tragic to think of Marsh feeling his life was crashing down as his career identity was crumbling. Maybe he could have left town and started over again and eventually been happy again. But one suspects that for whatever reasons he felt like he could not get away.

In an earlier post about life lessons, Chimesfreedom discussed Ernest Becker’s Pulitzer-Prize winning book, Denial of Death.  In the book, Becker explained that people identify with things — be it possessions, esteem, organizations, sports teams, etc. — to give meaning to their lives and to give us defense mechanisms against our fears.  Many of us identify ourselves by our jobs. And, as has happened frequently to far too many people in the last several years during the recession, if we lose a job we feel we lose our entire identity and our defense mechanism against our fears.

Railroad Workers The story about the Stevens case reminded me of a song by folk-singer and activist Charlie King.   King is an excellent performer, full of stories and good songs about social issues.  One song, entitled “Our Life is More than Our Work,” has common-sense lyrics reminding us something we often forget when we get wrapped up in our own worlds: “You know that our life is more than our work / And our work is more than our jobs.”

The song reminds us that we are not our jobs.  Additionally, we each have work to do during our lives that is beyond our jobs. But even that broader work is not the whole of your life.

The New Yorker story about the Alaska prosecution also reminded me of Insomnia (2003), a movie that focuses on a criminal case in Alaska involving questionable professional ethics that haunt the lead character. Insomnia is a very good movie about a Los Angeles detective played by Al Pacino who goes to Alaska to investigate a crime. While there, he is unable to sleep from the constant daylight and from being haunted by his past choices. The movie, directed by Christopher Nolan, features excellent acting by Al Pacino, Hilary Swank, and a creepy Robin Williams. It reveals how our jobs can take us down a well-worn path where we feel we do not have control.

Most likely, there were other factors contributing to the Nicholas Marsh tragedy besides the ethics investigation, and it is ridiculous to think that lessons from an action movie or a folk song could save a life. But music and movies can make us think about our lives and maybe change our attitudes a tiny bit. And that’s something. As Charlie King sings, “Think how our life could be, feel how our life could flow / If just for once we could let ourselves go.”

King, Charlie – Our Life Is More Than Our Work

{Our Life Is More Than Our Work – Charlie King}

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    Life Lessons – From a Pulitzer-Prize Winner, a Country Star, and an American Idol

    Calendar January 2011 for Tim McGraw Live Like You Were Dying Chimesfreedom wishes you a happy and healthy new year with this post about a Pulitzer-Prize winning book interpreted indirectly through song, leaving you with a question to ask yourself every day throughout the new year.

    Although Tim McGraw is not one of my favorite singers, there are times when popular artists record a song that is undeniably clever and catchy.  Popular songs are popular for a reason.  And I cannot help liking his song, “Live Like You Were Dying,” and the way it also relates to one of my favorite books.

    “Live Like You Were Dying” exceeds anything else McGraw has recorded.  Part of the reason may be the somewhat unusual message in the song.  Although traditional country music has a history of delving into deep adult themes, often modern country music ends up as superficial as most pop music.  “Live Like You Were Dying,” though, summarizes one of the lessons from Ernest Becker‘s Pulitzer-prize winning book, Denial of Death.

    Ernest Becker & Our Mortality

    Ernest Becker's The Denial of Death Becker’s book touches on several themes, but a principal theme may be summarized (in a somewhat oversimplified way for a short blog post):  (1) human beings are intelligent; (2) because we are intelligent, we are faced with the knowledge that we are rotting pieces of animal flesh that will someday die; (3) this knowledge of our mortality is overwhelming, so we push the knowledge to our subconscious; (4) to help us deal with our knowledge of mortality, we latch onto various cultural devices that help us suppress our fear of death — such as activities that subconsciously make us feel immortal, like rooting for sports teams, shopping, exuberant patriotism, writing a blog, raising children, etc.

    There are both upsides and downsides to our subconscious quest for immortality.  It may drive us to do things that benefit others, but it also may make us subconsciously hostile to others who have belief systems different from us.  If you believe something different than I do, you threaten the subconscious protections I have created as a shield against my mortality.  In the last few decades, “Terror Management Theory” psychologists have done significant research regarding how these theories affect our real world interactions.

    Ernest Becker’s books, in particular Denial of Death and Escape from Evil, explain the theories in more detail.  But his work is based on philosophers, psychologists, scientists, etc. going back more than a century.

    What does all this have to do with a pop song by a country superstar?  Although there is an aspect of Becker’s work that initially sounds depressing, there is an uplifting side, and that is portrayed rather well in the song.  One of Becker’s points is that if you are consciously aware of reality — including one’s mortality and the ways we may try to suppress it — then it may help you embrace life and more accurately assess value to the things in our life.

    Live Like You Were Dying

    “Live Like You Were Dying” begins with a friend in his early 40’s telling the narrator about getting bad news from the doctor relating to his x-rays (otherwise the song is vague about the exact nature of the disease).  The narrator “asked him when it sank in,/That this might really be the real end?/ How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news? /Man whatcha do?”

    The friend, instead of responding about being angry or depressed, tells the narrator in the chorus of the song:

    An’ he said: “I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
    “I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
    “And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
    “And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”
    An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,
    “To live like you were dyin’.”

    The friend then explains how he became a better husband, a better friend, and a better son.  The chorus repeats with the friend restating the wish about hoping that the narrator gets the chance “To live like you were dyin’,” explaining in the bridge, as the music builds:

    Like tomorrow was a gift,
    And you got eternity,
    To think about what you’d do with it.
    An’ what did you do with it?
    An’ what can I do with it?
    An’ what would I do with it?

    Although the song was written by songwriter Tim Nichols and not by Tim McGraw, the video reflects McGraw’s connection to the song.  In the final chorus, starting at around the 3:00 mark, you see a Phillies pitcher throwing a strikeout to Willie Wilson of the Royals to win the 1980 World Series.  The image is not there because McGraw is a Phillies fan or because he hates the Royals; that’s his dad Tug McGraw on the mound.

    Tug fathered Tim as the result of an affair and they did not have a relationship until Tim was a teenager.  But the two became close later in life.  Tug McGraw passed away from a brain tumor in early 2004, and Tim McGraw recorded “Live Like You Were Dying” later in the year in memory of his father.

    In the song, because the friend is talking to the narrator, the singer is singing the questions to us.  So, you are asked, if you knew that each day was precious and you were dying, what would you do?  The question is relevant to all of us.

    As Ernest Becker explained, we each only have a limited number of days to live.  More than 56 billion people in the world died between Jan 1, 2010 and Jan. 1, 2011, with most enjoying last New Year’s Day not knowing it was their last. Many of us will not be here a year from today.

    Our time here is short, and each day we are closer to death, giving us the opportunity to live like we are dying — instead of just dying. This new year, each month, and each day, including today, is a gift.

    What can you do with it?

    What are you going to do with it?

    Live Like We’re Dying

    Bonus American Idol Copy of Idea and Song Title: In 2009, American Idol winner Kris Allen recorded a song with a very similar title and similar theme to Tim McGraw’s song.  Allen’s song, entitled “Live Like We’re Dying,” repeats the theme of McGraw’s “Live Like You’re Dying” with a riff that may be more catchy to those turned off by men wearing cowboy hats when they sing.

    We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to
    Turn it all around or to throw it all away
    We gotta tell ’em that we love ’em while we got the chance to say
    Gotta live like we’re dying

    The song, written by four writers, is more generic than the McGraw song.  It tries to send a similar message without the personal story of the country song.

    Oa recent road trip, I heard the song late at night driving through New Jersey, and the catchy tune did get stuck in my head.  But the meaning behind the song is not as emotionally powerful as in the personal story of the country song. Give it a listen.

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