3rd of October: Matthew Ryan

Near the end of Thomas Wolfe‘s short story “One of the Girls in Our Party,” Wolfe writes of summer’s end, “flaming maples,” and “frosty stars” — “and of words unspoken and the quiet heart, and nights of the old October that must come again, must come again, while we are waiting, waiting, waiting in the darkness for all our friends and brothers who will not return.”

Even out of the context of the story, which like much of Wolfe’s writing tends more toward poetry than narrative, the repeating lines about how October “must come again” reminds us that winter is approaching and there is nothing we can do to slow down time.

“3rd of October”

By contrast, Matthew Ryan‘s song about today, “3rd of October” off of East Autumn Grin (2000), does not mention October outside the title. But it still evokes an October emptiness as in Wolfe’s words.

I have previously written about how much I like Matthew Ryan’s music.  I particularly love his louder songs off of albums like his debut album May Day (1997), the follow-up East Autumn Grin, and his recent album Boxers.

There is no clue in “3rd of October” about the link between the lyrics and the title date. The song is about a troubled relationship or the end of a relationship as the singer wails, “I don’t want to lose you.” But he also notes, “I don’t want to be pummelled by the truth / I can’t hold you now.”

Maybe the song is about one of Ryan’s relationships that ended on October 3, or maybe the date reflects the autumn of a relationship heading for winter.  Either way, it remains one of my favorite songs, for the power of both its music and its lyrics.

Disintegration, I don’t understand;
Disintegration of the morals,
Disintegration of the heart,
Disintegration of common sense;
Now I’m broken,
But ain’t everyone broken?

Like Wolfe’s use of repetition about October coming again, Ryan similarly repeats lines in his song. But while the aching in Wolfe’s words is of a quiet heart, Matthew Ryan’s pain in “3rd of October” roars.

Matthew Ryan’s Explanation

Several years after this post was originally published,  Matthew Ryan posted a link to this article on his Facebook page.  We were honored he had read this post.  But we were even more excited that he was still writing something beautiful about the wonderful album.

In his post, which you should read in its entirety, Ryan explains the important issues he was tackling on the album: “It struck me that in the things that we see between nations and races and classes, we can also see within the intimacies of ourselves in love and hate.” The album is about the challenge to love “despite the darker parts.”

As for the date in “3d of October,” Ryan explains, “I’m not even sure what the date was that brought the revelations that brought that song was, but it felt like The 3rd of October.”

Additionally, he confirms that the date is key as being a transition between summer and autumn: “The beginning of the end leads to Spring. Know what I’m saying? That’s why I love autumn. Because it dares you not to. And it’s so vivid in its march towards winter.”

I especially like his comment about the dare.  It reminds me that as bad days or anniversaries of sad dates roll around, we must still choose to accept the dare to continue to live and love life.

For whatever reason Ryan’s song is titled after the start of October, this month is the perfect time to listen to this excellent song (and curl up with a good book by Thomas Wolfe). May you have a good October 3rd, and may you accept the dare to love autumn in the face of the oncoming winter.

Leave your two cents in the comments. (This post was updated in September 2016.)

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Author: chimesfreedom

Editor-in-chief, New York. View all posts by chimesfreedom